Seeing Chelsea was rapture. She was safe and happy; loves us and lets us love her. She is now our reason fo rliving. The only dark clouds were the times she called out for her sister. It is a blessing that her Down Syndrome keeps her from knowing more than a little girl should bear. It is so strange to see her alone, since her sissy was always with her.
The funeral was the hardest thing I've ever been through. Megan was out on bail and permitted to attend. Not only were we thick with grief, but then to be forced to face one of her killers; I wondered how much pain a human could endure. It make me sick to look at her, to hear her cry. She approached Mark several times, I wanted so deperately to protect him, but he is a man now and must firght his own battles as he sees fit. Finally it was over. Our baby was in the ground and the finality of her murder hung over me like a thick fog. Friends came to the house and gave me the best medicine for my pain. They gave me the happy memories of a time before life got so hard. Small bits of healing love. I hope someday the healing will be complete. Until then I will simply try to keep what's left of my heart alive.
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