August 20, 1999

Things are getting a little better. I don't know if they are really better, if I am just handling it better, or if this is just a lull between storms. I found a social worker to complete the home visits that the court wanted, and it went well. Perhaps it is just simple hope that makes it seem like things are better. It is the day before Mark and Angie's wedding and tonight is the rehearsal dinner (at my house). I wish I could get more excited about it. I am going to have a house full of people and I am dreading every minute of it. I'll just be glad when it's time for the wedding tomorrow. I think it will be emotionally difficult, happy for the wedding, sad that Bethanie can't be there. We go to court on Tuesday for Chelsea, but she'll have to miss her father's wedding, thanks again to our legal system. They continue to cause us pain, that same system designed to protect us.